The Epic Chronology of Rock Band’s Endless Setlist

Rock BandTechnically, I only invited 4 people, but you know how these things are. The night saw a peak as 11 friends crammed into the game room, although only 6 stood strong until the completion of Rock Band’s Endless Setlist. This is how the glorious night went down.

Tuesday September 2, 2008 (PM)

8:00 Finish Vacuuming the Carpet
8:05 Begin playing “Hey There Delilah” on acoustic guitar. Real guitar is for losers though, so I stop promptly.
8:18 Key players start arriving.
8:21 XBox won’t connect to live. Accept the fact that our achievements won’t be time stamped. Morale low.
8:25 Play a few warm up songs.
8:29 All instruments set to HARD difficulty. This was discussed beforehand and determined to be possible while still maintaining player swappability.
8:30 Begin the Endless Setlist. Everyone gets a kick out of the pre-gig message.
8:32 I miss my first note. This is perhaps the second most unsatisfying note to miss other than the last one in “Won’t Get Fooled Again”.
9:00 Day 2 of Republican National Convention Ends.
9:04 Self-restraint goes out the window and even the guys have no fear going falsetto to hit the high-pitched bridge of “Creep”.
9:13 Pizza arrives. We have an employee in our midst so it’s all good with 50% off two large Peperonis with pan crust.
9:16 After trying to sing “Blood Doll” as angrily as possible to no avail, we realize that this setlist does indeed include the bonus indie songs, and in turn begin fearing the inevitable inclusion of “Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld”.
11:30 Half-way. We complete Suffragette City (after failing a few times).
Endorush Energy Drink Caution Label11:35 Take shots of Endorush, an energy drink found at the local health-food store. After reading the warning label, you just have to drink some.
11:55 Banana Freefall has lost all 503,000 of it’s original fans. At least we can’t lose any more!

Wednesday September 3, 2008 (AM)

12:04 After perfect combo execution of most of “Dani California”, guitarist hits XBox guide button. Tension rises.
12:15 Our liter of generic-brand grape soda has lost all carbonation. It could now be considered, as Dave Chapelle would put it, “Grape Drink”.
1:30 People start leaving. We make fun of our younger friend who has to return to High School in the morning.
1:45 Jokes about the console overheating, although funny, are also profoundly unsettling at this point.
2:00 Talking and laughing ceases. This is no longer a party. This is a war of attrition.
2:13 Can’t handle “Next To You” on drums. Auxiliary bass pedaler deemed necessary.
2:30 Fingers begin hurting. Drummer cannot feel right shin. The only remaining girl has fallen asleep and we have to listen to a guy singer attempt the hardest songs on the list. Not cool.
2:39 Repetitively pound snare in attempt to survive the drum part of “Run to the Hills”.
2:45 Final and 58th song, “Won’t Get Fooled Again” begins.
2:52 Long interlude tricks less experienced Rock Banders into thinking we have finished. Problem resolved by yelling at them.
2:54 Final notes hit, everyone stands and roars.
2:55 Cool pyrotechnics. Achievements unlocked, gold legendary status granted.

All in all, somebody unlocked a city shirt. We got about $23,000 each, and gained 900 fans.

Yes, 900 fans.

But hey, it’s only a video game. I think. 😉

One thought on “The Epic Chronology of Rock Band’s Endless Setlist

  1. jaysix

    you became a twat at 8:05pm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>