A Bonsai Tree From Woot!

sspx0066I know what you’re thinking. “Buying a Bonsai tree on the internet is stupid”.

You’re wrong. It’s not stupid. It’s totally awesome.

The only things that you could purchase on the internet that would be more awesome than a bonsai tree would be:

  1. A Titanium Spork or,
  2. Two Bonsai trees.

On December 3rd, wine.woot.com began “Gift Week”. Being in the season of giving, I decided to give myself a gift. A Six Year Old Juniper Bonsai seemed appropriate. I wanted a plant, and Bonsai trees are as cool as they get. (If not as easy to care for… but we’ll see.) Every time I get lucky bamboo it always dies anyway.

Sure, it was a complete impulse buy, but that $29.99 wasn’t going anywhere else. Plus, now I have the novelty of telling everyone “Dude, I bought a Bonsai tree off the internet!”. High Five!

How does one ship a miniature tree? Lots of peanuts!

Plastic and bubble wrap kept my tree wet. I think they watered it before shipping, but I like to think it was just excited to have me unpack it.


The tree resides in a cute little included pot (with holes in the bottom, for proper Bonsai drainage) and is filled with legit soil, I think – not that glued-on rock crap that always kills my bamboo. It even came with a cute little miniature boulder!


The complete package shipped from BonsaiBoy.com fairly promptly. You can… uh, pretty much get the exact same thing right here any time of the year. It’s just more fun when it’s on Woot!

The tree came with a quaint page of instructions, obviously written by a friendly person fluent in the English language. It covers placement throughout the year, watering, humidity and fertilization.

It’s winter, so she’s dormant, but is looking healthy. We’ll see how long it lasts. Even then, a dead bonsai tree might look cool until it disintegrated into nothingness. Not that I’m getting any ideas… I just don’t know if I’m ready for this type of commitment.

Update: About one month in, she starts sprouting new twills of green like crazy, probably not what’s supposed to happen before Spring.. I just cut them off with a pair of child safety scissors. Still looking good.

Update: Well, she didn’t make it through the second winter. But that’s not to say it was the tree’s fault, I think I just stopped watering it for too long. We had a good run, and now there’s a weed growing in the pot. It’s a venerable lesson in the circle of life, I guess.

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